Oh my GAWD, I love your SHOES!!!!

So, I bought these really fantastic shoes over the weekend. When I bought them it was for purely selfish, Lady Gaga loving fabulousity. I wanted great shoes. And they are so great, that the moment I put them on this morning, I knew that these were now my husband shoes. Every time I wear these swirly, delicate flowered wedge dreams of a summer shoe, I could possibly meet Mr. Not SO Annoying. Because how could the future Mr. Not So, not fall hopelessly in love with me in THESE shoes.
And, not in a "Oh MY GAWD, I LOVE YOUR SHOESSSS...." kinda way.

I'm talking, Epic dream sequence, across a crowded room, eyes locking on the shoes,pan up to me, looking at me, me, me some more and cut to love at first sight.
The only problem with the whole shoe theory/plot/plan (call it what you will) is that I never meet anyone. Ever. Which is why I am on eharmony. And how weird would it be if I just added a picture of my feet on my profile page. I'm pretty sure that eharmony is not that kind of website.

Without the shoes, what kind of chance do I have of attracting someone. Let's face it...online, some people transfer well to screen and some don't. I am not one of those people. To know me is to love me in all my loud, sneezing, Julie glory.

Let's take my new match "Fred" (names have been changed to protect the loveless). Fred is the only match who has sent me a communication since I have been online. Poor "Fred" has a picture of him in a business suit, standing next to a giant boulder with a slight back arch and a glazed look in his eye. Now, I am sure Fred is a very interesting guy...but take that photo and the fact that he lists Sarah Brightman and Reba McIntire as his greatest influences...and it's not a pretty combination. I can't get past the fact that he is practically striking a Playgirl pose on a boulder in a Brook Brothers...and Match CLOSED for him. Fred does not translate well to screen.

Now that I have stepped on and crushed Fred's hopes and dreams with the very same shoes that give me my power, I am out to continue the search. Wish me luck...