Long time no see....

What up, bitches? Long time no see. Sorry I haven't been around very much. I've been concentrating on my dance career. Recently, I've perfected twerking while playing Minecraft. I tried posting videos on youtube demonstrating my skills, but a group of concerned citizens petitioned over decency laws. Whatever.
So...how are you? (Did that sound sincere?)
Let's talk about me now.
I recently celebrated my one year anniversary with "the boy". And by boy, I mean a 42 yr old man with an affinity for pop tarts and blue juice. What can I say? He's got this incredibly sexy boyish charm.  It's been an interesting year....nothing boring about my relationship. I mean not Liam Hemsworth  or Anthony Weiner interesting, but certainly not drama free.
I'm going to skip over about 12 months and 3 weeks of the last year, and jump to the last week...when my boy tells me that he is going on a Boyfriend Leave of Absence. Let the words roll off your tongue, he says.... Leave of Absence. Wtf? Sounds like a breakup to me....but, no I'm assured that it's not a breakup. It's  really just a leave.
What the hell, am I? A job?
Do you get to " leave" a relationship, without breaking up? Is this something new? Is this a little known clause in Obamacare. I'm so confused. I mean I get that as parents and working adults, living an 1 1/2 hours away really sucks, and doesn't always make for the most romantic evenings. Let's be honest I'm not nearly as appealing when I'm falling asleep sitting up in mid sentence with a wine mustache at 9:30 on a Saturday. I know this.  But, you don't get to take a leave from life. If you did, we would all be sitting on a beach drinking frozen drinks with umbrellas and asking Fernando to rub lotion on our shoulders. Ok, maybe not all of  us. You don't get a time-out in relationships. You are either in it to Win it, or you are done. This isn't Freeze Tag. And there is no gray.
So, where does that leave me? I'm not sure. I love this guy, but I need someone present in my life. Someone who can take a knock, and get back up. Someone who won't let me go no matter what, no matter when, and no matter how. I need someone who is going to pull me back, and remind me why we even got here in the first place. Love is plentiful, but what you do with that love....that's what really counts.
Well, back to dancing... I'm working on this hot new move, that's kind of like the Cabbage Patch, but with less Cabbage and more Patch. Just wait, Miley Cyrus will be all over this.
I'm out....