BOFD and Other Things I Don't Understand

It sounds like a great idea...meet people online with whom you have common interests and a similar desired outcome. Get your minds of the gutter, people and mom. You get to look at pictures, decide who you like and strike up a conversation. Maybe if an email conversation goes well, you move onto IM, maybe the phone and ultimately meet to see if you are compatible. Doesn't too difficult does it?

But, there is a whole series of rules, regulations, etiquette guidelines, secret codes, smoke signals, rituals, virtually an entire vernacular that goes along with it. Oh, yeah...I whipped out the word "vernacular". And just plain old things your should do and not do.

I mean, do you know what BOFD means? Well, it doesn't mean Breakdances on First Date. I loved Electric Boogaloo!!!!!
And if someone asks you if you want to "hang out"? Does it mean online or in person?
Being asked by someone about your clothes in a im conversation doesn't really mean that they have been watching too much Project Runway..but signals a different direction in the conversation. Now is the time for the gutter.

People make a whole process of meeting people just to talk about "stuff" online. By stuff, I'm not talking Beanie Babies. Is this what fear of STD's, AIDS, personal intimacy, cuddling and unshaven legs has left us with?

And in today's virtual world...how do you really know what someone is asking you? Think grammar, puncuation, etc!!!! And what happens when there is none?
I mean how am I supposed to know what to do, or what an acceptable time frame in which to do it. I mean he asked me to hang out...but then didn't respond when I responded. What's up with that?

Really, did that other guy ask me if I was in my pajamas? I'm a single mom with two kids...my pajamas are a faded t-shirt, and pair of boxers I stole from some dude in college, complete with beer stain. I don't know if he was thinking Frederick's of Hollywood, but I haven't worn satin, lace or anything holding anything else up since my wedding. What does that question even mean?

And if someone says that they are into horses, do they really mean horses? Am I weird for even asking that question?

I'm the Pepsi generation...I thought the Singles Soundtrack was going to save the music industry, I have dreamed about Dave Grohl since Smells Like Teen Spirit, I knew that the Million Dollar Man BELONGED with the Bionic Woman, Lenny & Squiggy were just friends with small IQ's and when Flo said "Kiss my Grits!!" she really meant it. I am not mentally prepared for all of this winking, IM'ing, coy use of the emoticon.
Maybe that makes me ***GASP*** old fashioned, but so be it.