Don't Be A Hater

I hate to be full of myself...at least anymore than usual...but, I have men crawling all over me right now.  Not literally...although that could be a good time. I mean...I am getting some much deserved attention from the male species. It's amazing what happens when you lower your standards beyond the simple pre-requisites of good hygiene and some cash.

I mean, completely disregarding how any of these guys spell their own names, their favorite football team and the word cat in an email is easy...and I would like to reiterate, I mean how often am I actually going to have to communicate with any of them? So, no problem lowering my standards, right? I've not quite hit rock bottom...I still want them to have a pulse, and be able to breathe on their own.

But, I'm emailing a couple of guys right now, texting a few guys, instant message alot with this one guy and I have a date this weekend...not to mention the 5 or 6 construction workers who wave at me every morning as I drive by. I am on fire!!!!!! And its fun...oodles and oodles of fun.

I'm looking forward to the date...and am cautiously optimistic that this one doesn't turn out to be a douchebag. But, just in case he does....I have several backup options...including the greeter at wal-mart who told me yesterday when I stopped by that I "was the bomb". At least I think he said "the bomb" and not a "blob". My hearing isn't quite what it used to be.

Just in case, you are so jealous of my awesome dating life...here are some examples of recent emails and profiles. Enjoy..and don't hate me too much.


hello there gorgeous,
i would love to have to opportunity to chat with u sometime. i do travel a lot for work, but i am currently looking to meet someone new for dinner,adventure, and dating. how could i get a chance to chat with u. i truly hope to hear from u soon. i wish u the best of day, and be well
 
 I like to eat Krabby Patties and drink Kelp Shakes. My goal is to work Squidward and Spongebob to death and make lots of money. I also want to squish Plankton.
 
 hello i can h at home or at a hot tel will tr meet you right. i luv giving and geting space . can go ca. lets talk on the phone . so we both know what we like.wo w four mor e . sentances are needed.



lets have some fun. i need to find a fun woman. ask me and I will tell u a bout me. lets talk and have fun.lets party sometime!i like to hang out @ home with the rite womanbut



Currently looking for a pen pal, I am in a federal prison in Arizona



Hi LADIES :) I am currently incarcerated and looking for some lady friends :) Maybe we can write for now and then who knows