Calculating Me Some Men!

Things have been a little quiet on the husband searching front...and by quiet I mean like "McGruber" opening weekend quiet. No action, and not a man for miles.

So, I decided to do some research and find out the best places to find a man. I took a note pad, a very fine uniball black roller pen and set out to find men. I decided to venture away from typical "manly-men" places in hopes of finding someone who is in touch with his more sensitive side, or in touch with any side that didn't include a blow torch, Bass Pro or anything in a measurement. 5/8 inch blah, blah, blah....

After analyzing high volume traffic in a mile to mile grid which encompasses two standard county sizes, area per ca pita male to female ratio, calculating percentage of square footage, googling some stuff on well, Google (duh) I have determined.....oh, who am I kidding...I haven't determined anything. I don't have the attention span to research anything except flip flops on Zappos, and even then it's five minutes tops. But, I do have great flip flops.

I did sorta put together a list of places NOT to find men. Some may surprise you. I hope this list can help my fellow sisters in the husband finding cause. I'm here for you. Let us wear buttons (see previous post) and UNITE!!!!

Places not to find a husband...at least not one isn't already dead inside and contemplating his mid-life crisis, which includes his subsequent divorce from the raging bitch or is just plain weird.

1. The orthodontist
2. The gynecologist
3. The community swimming pool (swimsuit...Yikes!)
4. The teen bra section at the local department store.
5. The music store on a Friday afternoon.
6. The "ladies" section at Wal-Mart (think Tampax, not clothing)
7. The small pet spa
8. Spaghetti night at the Nursing home
9. Sugar Snap Pea patch at the local farmer's market
10. The waterpark at the local amusement park (can you say half-naked sweaty tourist?)
11. Any Disney store, anywhere in the world.
12. Disney
13. Drag Show
14. Miniature Pony Farm